How to Stay Gospel-Centered When Holiday Hype, Technology & Media Compete for Your Kids’ Hearts

Despite the deep importance of cultivating thankfulness and kindness in children, doing so is not without its challenges—especially in today’s cultural climate. As we enter the holiday season, with all its busyness, distractions, and commercial noise, the quiet, intentional work of nurturing a grateful and kind heart can easily be overshadowed. There are many modern influences that work against the virtues we are trying to cultivate, such as entitlement, hurried family rhythms, as well as the pull of digital media. However, this season also presents an excellent opportunity to slow down, reflect, and renew our commitment to keeping God at the center of our homes throughout the year, not just during Christmas and the New Year.

A Culture of Entitlement  

We live in an age of abundance, where "more" is marketed as a right and "enough" rarely celebrated. Every day, children are told what they should have, deserve, or need to be happy. Even well meaning family members can easily get caught up in patterns of overindulgence-where blessings become expectations.  

Entitlement dulls a child’s ability to recognise grace. It blinds them to the truth that every breath, every meal, every good gift is from God. Children who believe they are owed everything lose gratitude and become dissatisfied.  

The Christian parent and educator must teach stewardship and humility to their children. It means saying "no" to them at times, helping them work toward their goals, and reminding them that everything they have is from God.  

The Busyness Trap  

Modern life is also fast-paced. Often, families rush from school to extracurricular activities, back and forth to different homeschooling meets or tasks, church events, or social obligations often while trying to also manage employment, or self employment, studies, or kids appointment in between the hustle with no time for a pause or reflection. Gratitude and kindness can easily be squeezed out in a hurried environment, not because they aren't valued, but because they aren't prioritised.  We must also consider in this busyness, what are we modelling to our children?

Gratitude requires attention, and kindness requires intention. When we rush to the next thing, we won't notice the small moments that matter --like noticing a friend in need, thanking a sibling, or acknowledging God's provision. To cultivate thankful, kind children, we must slow down enough to notice blessings and needs around us.  

It is important to make space in the family rhythm for unhurried conversation, prayer, and reflection. Whether it's a moment around the dinner table or a short pause at bedtime, these small routines shape the heart.  

Screens and Self-Focus

We are raising children in a digital world that encourages comparisons, self-focus, self-dependence, and isolation. Often, social media, advertising, and entertainment platforms promote self-promotion over humility, personal accomplishment over community and sacrificial love, and instant gratification over patience, contentment, and thankfulness.  

This influence is amplified during the holiday season. Children are bombarded with messages about what they must have, wear, or experience in order to feel special or valued by the media, marketing and in-turn their peers. There are endless wishlists, unboxing videos, and curated celebrations online that shape what children desire as well as how they measure joy. Holiday hype doesn’t just distract—it competes for their hearts.

These can all lead children to measure their worth based on likes, trends, possessions, and what others think of them rather than their identity in Christ. Rather than emphasizing what they have, it highlights what they lack. Practicing comparison, especially online, has not only resulted in increased unkindness and unthankfulness, but has also contributed to a multitude of health problems (particularly mental health, where multiple studies have shown that engagement of youth on these many online social platforms appears to be associated with a rise in mental health problems).  

In digital spaces, kindness suffers. In impersonal, filtered, or shallow communication, it's easier to disconnect. Children must be taught empathy, to serve others physically and tangibly, and to see people behind screens as valuable image-bearers of God.  

By limiting screen time, engaging in media alongside discussion, and encouraging service and gratitude, parents and educators can gently counteract these influences.  

Practical Counter Strategies For Managing Screens & Self-Focus:

• Limit holiday screen time by building in device-free family moments, such as board games, baking, or reading Scripture together.

• Involve children in giving: have them help choose a gift for someone in need or make a card for a neighbour.

• Invite children to reflect: “What matters more—getting something new, or spending time with the people you love?”

• Watch or listen to Christ-centered content that reinforces eternal joy, not temporary excitement.

  
  

Most importantly, you need to lead by example - it can be easy to fall into the trap of screens yourself. Especially if you are caught up in the busyness trap managing a business or studies from home, or simply trying to keep on top of all the appointments, obligations and school or homeschool activities or requirements and have not put measures in play to escape that busyness trap. However, it is important to designate breaks from this and let you children see you practicing healthy habits with screen use. Children tend to do what we do - so if you don't want them on the screens all the time, show them healthy use of screens.

Holidays Without Meaning  

Finally, well-intentioned holiday celebrations can lose their depth. With the digital noise of holiday advertisements and entertainment, it is easy for the focus to shift away from God's provision in favour of temporary pleasures and picture-perfect expectations.

If we are not careful, no matter what occassion or holiday you celebrate or don't celebrate, instead of God's provision being the focus the occasions can quickly become about food, gifts, sport, movies, shiny pretty things and sales. 

If children aren't taught why we have joy, why we can be thankful or who kindness reflects, these virtues can become detached from the Gospel. We don't just want to raise "nice kids," we want to raise children who are rooted in Jesus, overflowing with gratitude and compassion. 

Practical Ways to Cultivate Thankfulness and Kindness in Children 

It’s one thing to value gratitude and kindness—it’s another to practice these. Fortunately, these traits can be developed through consistent small actions. Engagement, repetition, and modelling are the keys to learning.  

Practical Ways to Cultivate Thankfulness & Kindness at Home  

• Model gratitude openly: Let your children hear you thank God, your spouse, and them. Verbally acknowledge blessings—like sunshine, warm meals, or answered prayers.

• Create gratitude routines: Start a daily practice of writing down things you’re thankful for. Each evening, ask your children, “What are you thankful for today?”

• Display Scripture in visible places: Post verses such as Psalm 100:4 and Colossians 3:12 around the home as gentle, ongoing reminders.

• Affirm Christlike behaviour: When your child is patient, helpful, or thoughtful, acknowledge it by saying, “That was so kind of you, and it reflects how Jesus treats others.”

Practical Ways to Cultivate Thankfulness & Kindness In Relationships  

• Encourage service at home: Teach children to help with chores as an act of love for the family, not just for rewards.

• Practice gratitude expression: Help your child write or draw thank-you notes after birthdays, holidays, or acts of kindness from others.

• Foster empathy through conversation: Ask questions like, “How did they feel?” to help children develop compassion and learn to respond with kindness.

When Gratitude and Kindness Are Hard 

When things are good, it's easy to be thankful. But what about when they're hard? One of the most powerful lessons we can teach our children is that thankfulness and kindness are still possible, even in difficult circumstances.  

Teach Resilient Gratitude  

Scripture doesn’t call us to give thanks for every situation but in every situation  

 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. - 1 Thess 5:18

That said, God is often using those situations for our betterment or the betterment of others so we can also (even though it is hard) be thankful for the situation too. Even if the situation is not great or painful as the Bible also shows us that what people can mean for evil God means for good (Genesis 50:20).  

But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.

He also uses situations that arise in this fallen world for our growth.  

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. - James 1:2-4

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. - Romans 8:28

Though being thankful for both of these things as well as in these things might be difficult for us at times, it is an encouraging reminder for us as we move through them or past them. 

We can help children learn this by gently guiding them to see God’s presence, even in disappointment. If a toy breaks or a plan changes, remind them: “It’s okay to feel sad—but what can we still thank God for today?”  

David in Psalm 28 praised God after being rescued, but he also gave thanks in the middle of distress 

So, let children know it’s okay to grieve and be honest about their emotions. But also teach them how to come back to God with a grateful posture: “Lord, I don’t understand this, but I thank You for being with me.”  

Address Unkind Behaviour With Gospel Truth  

If a child is unkind, whether from frustration, jealousy, or hurt, it's a teaching opportunity. Don't just correct the behaviour, speak to the heart. Ask questions like, “What was going on inside when you said that?” Then remind them of God’s kindness and mercy toward us, and how we are called to show that same grace to others. 

The Role of the Gospel 

At the heart of gratitude and kindness is the Gospel. We do not practice these virtues only to be good people or to raise well-behaved children. The reason we cultivate them is that they reflect the character of Christ, and they spring from hearts that have been transformed by His grace.  

Gratitude for the Greatest Gift  

Jesus is the greatest reason to be thankful, not a full table or a happy moment. God gave His Son to rescue us from sin and this is the best gift possible. 

 Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! - 2 Corinthians 9:15

A child's thanksgiving is grounded in something eternal when they comprehend the truth about salvation.  

Kindness That Overflows from God’s Love  

God's kindness cannot be earned; it is freely given. The moment our children realise how deeply they are loved by God, they are empowered to love others in the same way. It does not mean they will not encounter difficulties, but it does mean they will grow in these fruits and virtues as they hold fast to Him who loves them and us. 

Gospel-Centered Parenting  

Remind your children often why we love (1 John 4:19) 

 We love Him because He first loved us.

When they see that kindness and thankfulness are responses to a good and gracious God, they will be more motivated to grow in these virtues—not out of obligation, but out of joy. 

To conclude, raising children who are grateful and kind is no easy task in today's world. It requires intentionality, patience, and a continuous return to God's truth. During the holiday season-with all its noise, expectations, and distractions-we are reminded that such virtues do not flourish by accident. We cultivate them through steady guidance, Gospel-centered instruction, and a family environment that places God at the center of everything we do.

Kindness and gratitude are not just good manners or seasonal sentiments, they are counter cultural habits of the heart. In a world saturated with entitlement, self-focus, and constant digital noise, our children are continually guided in the opposite direction by the world around them. Nevertheless, God's grace enables us to gently guide them in a different direction. Through small, faithful acts—like modelling thankfulness, slowing down to notice blessings, limiting screen time, and speaking truth in the hard moments—we help shape how they engage with the world around them.

In the end, God is the one who transforms hearts. However, we must plant seeds, establish rhythms, and demonstrate the truth to our children. Let us not simply strive to raise nice children, but rather to point them daily to the One who is worthy of all praise, who teaches us what true love looks like and how it is expressed. Let us also make our homes places of gratitude, kindness, love and joy not just during the holidays, but throughout the year.