Why Teaching Gratitude and Kindness is more URGENT that ever before for Christian Families.

The month of November is filled with powerful reminders. In the United States, many families gather to celebrate Thanksgiving—a day that many sources state was originally set aside to express gratitude to God for His provision to the Pilgrim settlers. Like many other holidays, the origins and nature of Thanksgiving are debated by various people within Christian communities, depending on their theological and historical understandings. This is something far too lengthy and heavy to discuss in this post. It is important to remember, however, that while these occasions and details may be debated, the invitation to reflect, give thanks, and act with intention remains, especially since many around the world will also observe “World Kindness Day,” which is celebrated in November to highlight the beauty of compassion and good deeds. 

These occasions offer valuable opportunities to pause and reflect. Especially since we are called to practice thankfulness and kindness year-round as Christians. These virtues are not merely seasonal events. We should therefore ask ourselves, "Are we doing that?" and "Are we teaching our children the importance of doing the same?” 

As Christian parents, educators, and caregivers, we must remember that gratitude and kindness are not seasonal gestures, but spiritual disciplines, commanded by Scripture, and essential for a child's development. We must teach, model, and practice these qualities in order for them to take root. Especially in a culture often marked by entitlement and instant gratification, cultivating thankful and kind hearts in our children is one of the most meaningful ways we can point them (and others) to Christ and reflect His love. 

Why Gratitude and Kindness Matter 

Gratitude and kindness are repeatedly emphasised in Scripture—not as occasional expressions, but as defining characteristics of God's people. First Thessalonians 5:18 tells us 

in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

In Philippians 4:6, we are also instructed on the importance of bringing all things to God with thanksgiving. 

Gratitude and thanksgiving are not dependent on pleasant circumstances, but rather spring from a heart that is anchored in God's character and promises.  

Kindness, likewise, is a character Christians should be demonstrating from the production of fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) as we grow in our relationship with God 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

It is also a command that should be followed 

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. - Colossians 3:12-13

God Himself is the model of this kind of kindness — He is described as rich in mercy and full of compassion, continually showing loving kindness to His people. 

that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.- Ephesians 2:7

With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment; but with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,” Says the Lord, your Redeemer. - Isaiah 54:8

As we teach our children to be kind, we are helping them to reflect the very nature of God.  

Therefore,  is important to understand that gratitude and kindness are not only nice or helpful social characteristics to learn; they are profoundly spiritual. A thankful heart acknowledges dependence on God as the giver of every good and perfect gift.

Without gratitude, hearts grow proud, hard, and self-reliant (Romans 1:21)

because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Kindness, meanwhile, is evidence of God’s love at work in and through us. It creates bridges, serves others, and illuminates a dark world that can be isolating and harsh.  

The goal of thankfulness and kindness is to teach children to look beyond themselves—to recognise God's grace and respond to His goodness in the way they treat others. Virtues such as these are foundational to Christian maturity and are integral to worship, obedience, and Gospel witness. 

Nevertheless, we must recognise the growing urgency of this message as well as the challenges that lie ahead. We are raising our children in a culture that is characterised by entitlement, emotional detachment, and digital distraction. Continual exposure to instant gratification, unrealistic comparisons, and performance-based worth is damaging their spiritual growth as well as their mental, emotional, and physical health.

We are now seeing a rise in children struggle with anxiety, stress, disrupted sleep, poor emotional regulation, and weakened immune systems. The influence of social media, modern entertainment, agendas and ideologies tends to erode empathy and promote self-focus, limiting children from developing meaningful, healthy relationships rather than helping them to build them.

The consequences of not intentionally cultivating gratitude and kindness are already evident in the rising rates of depression, loneliness, and behavioural problems among young people.

That’s why teaching these virtues is not just beneficial—it’s crucial for their health, their relationships, and their walk with God.

Let's examine how gratitude and kindness shape a child's development, not only spiritually, but also emotionally, physically, and socially.

Gratitude and Kindness in a Child’s Development 

Spiritual and Character Growth  

Gratitude and kindness are more than simply positive behaviours we would like to see in our children-they are deeply spiritual virtues that have a profound impact on how children view God, themselves, and others in this world. As these traits are nurtured from an early age, they lay a foundation for godly character, emotional maturity, and spiritual strength.  

Educating children on how to say "thank you" is a good start, but true gratitude goes beyond polite words. It requires a heart that perceives every blessing as a gift from a loving and good God (James 1:17).  

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.

Having this perspective helps children understand that they are not self-sufficient, but are dependent on the Lord for everything. Gratitude teaches children to recognise God's hand in their lives, and that acknowledgement fosters humility and worship.  

Likewise, kindness is not simply about being nice, it is about reflecting God's character. Scripture describes God's kindness as loyal, patient, compassionate, and sacrificial. By showing kindness to siblings, friends, and even strangers, children are participating in the Gospel's call to love others as Christ has loved us.  

These are not just Sunday school values—they are the very garments of a Christian life.  

The best way to facilitate this spiritual formation is to model gratitude and kindness consistently. Children are always watching. Children notice when parents and caregivers express gratitude, generosity, joy in service, and contentment in the Lord. During these moments, biblical truths are not only internalised intellectually, but also emotionally and relationally.  

Over time, this develops a spiritual framework that teaches them how to deal with both blessings and challenges. True discipleship is demonstrated when a child is able to say "Thank you, God," after a difficult day, or act with compassion when someone has been unkind to him or her. 

Neglecting these spiritual virtues has the opposite effect. Rather than developing godly character, children may develop a self-centered mindset, believing that they are responsible for their own success, and entitled to whatever they want or recieve. The lack of gratitude leads to the perception of blessings as rights rather than gifts, resulting in pride, dissatisfaction, and spiritual blindness.

It is also possible that children may develop harshness, impatience, or indifference towards others when kindness is not modeled or practiced. Rather than viewing people through the lens of compassion and service, they may respond with judgement, selfishness, or exclusion, thus failing to follow the Gospel call to love as Christ loved.

When a child does not have these anchors, he or she may struggle with meaning, empathy, and relationship stability, becoming more vulnerable to cultural messages of self-promotion, performance-based worth, and emotional detatchment over time.

Ultimately, failing to cultivate gratitude and kindness is not a neutral absence—it creates a vacuum that is filled by pride, entitlement, and relational harm, distancing children from both God and others.

Emotional and Physical Health Benefits  

Research continues to confirm the importance of gratitude and kindness-not just for spiritual well-being, but also for physical and emotional well-being. Children who regularly practice gratitude and kindness experience the following benefits:  

• Improved emotional regulation and reduced stress  

• Lower levels of anxiety and depression  

• Better sleep quality and stronger immune systems  

• Greater life satisfaction and resilience  

• Higher levels of empathy and generosity  

• Stronger relationships and increased social connection  

The act of gratitude acts as a mental and emotional reset. The focus shifts from what a child lacks to what they already possess. Rather than becoming discouraged by comparisons or consumed with discontent, a grateful child recognises and celebrates God's daily provision—whether it is a hot meal, a hug, a safe home, or the opportunity to play and learn. This leads to emotional stability and contentment over time.  

There are also measurable health benefits associated with kindness. The act of kindness releases feel-good chemicals such as oxytocin and serotonin, which promote feelings of joy, connection, and well-being. Serving others gives children a real emotional boost, whether it's helping a sibling clean up, making a card for a neighbour, or saying a kind word.  

In addition, kindness fosters empathy. A child who is taught to see the world through the eyes of another, to consider the feelings or needs of someone else, develops compassion-and compassion is deeply protective against narcissism, bullying, and isolation. Instead of emphasising entitlement and division, it promotes a sense of community and cooperation among children.  

A child may become fixated on what they lack instead of focusing on what they have, leading to discontent, jealousy, and insecurity. Gratitude shifts perspective; without it, children are more likely to compare themselves to others, to feel entitled, and to be dissatisfied.

In the same way, without kindness, children do not receive the physiological and emotional benefits that come from serving others. The natural joy and connection that kindness produces is replaced with isolation, apathy, or relational breakdown. Lack of empathy can also lead to bullying behaviours, narcissism, and emotional detachment in children.

They may become socially withdrawn or overly self-centered, which makes it difficult for them to develop lasting friendships and deal with conflict effectively. Those who lack compassion are affected not only emotionally, but also in terms of their ability to function within their families, schools, and communities. They may also become sick more frequently or struggle to bounce back from illness.

Educating children about gratitude and kindness is an important part of their development. When children are not taught these virtues, they not only miss out on opportunities for growth, but are also placed at risk for physical and emotional harm, as well as for harming others intentionally or unintentionally. The good news is there are so many ways you can help to teach them kindness and thankfulness. Below are a few ideas you can use to help them grow in their understanding of kindness and thankfulness (but are absolutely not the only ideas - we are blessed these days to have access to so many options and resources).

Creative Ways to Cultivate Thankfulness and Kindness in Children

• Tell stories of God’s kindness: Read Bible stories that highlight God’s mercy and provision, then have children retell the story through drawing, dramatic play, or a simple comic strip.

• Reflect after blessings: When something good happens, pause to thank God together. Children can respond by painting, drawing or writing their gratitude.

• Highlight unseen helpers: Teach children to appreciate and notice unnoticed helpers by making thank-you notes or notes of appreciation.

• Use Scripture creatively: Children can colour Bible verse posters, complete themed word searches, or copy short verses to reinforce truths.

• Incorporate writing and discussion prompts: Use age-appropriate prompts to help children reflect on gratitude and kindness. These can be part of journalling, oral storytelling, or shared conversation.

In conclusion, Thanksgiving and World Kindness Day offer a timely opportunity to pause and reflect—but the call for gratitude and kindness goes far beyond the calendar. These are not one-time lessons or seasonal sentiments. They are postures of the heart, formed over time, nurtured by the Word, and modelled in the daily rhythm of life.

You don’t need perfect conditions or grand gestures to raise thankful, kind children. Small, faithful moments matter—like giving thanks at bedtime, serving a sibling with joy, or writing to someone who needs encouragement. Each of these moments helps shape a child’s heart.

Yet in today’s world—so often marked by entitlement and instant gratification—teaching gratitude and kindness is more urgent than ever for Christian families. These are not optional values or surface-level traits; they are essential disciplines that anchor children in truth and guard their hearts against pride and dissatisfaction. Spiritually, they direct attention back to God as the giver of every good gift. Socially, they build stronger relationships, deepen empathy, and encourage service toward others.

The benefits are also clear in a child’s emotional and physical health: increased emotional regulation, reduced stress, lower levels of anxiety and depression, better sleep, stronger immune function, and an overall greater sense of joy, connection, and resilience.

Above all, we must remember that these virtues flow from a relationship with Christ. When children are taught to recognise God’s mercy, goodness, and love, the children's gratitude and kindness grow as natural responses to His grace.

Let this season not be just a lesson, but a renewal of purpose—one that helps our children live for the glory of God and the good of others, both now and throughout their lives.